“Tom Friedman, I promise that as president I will fix the Union Station turnaround for you. By burying you under the frickin asphalt.”
“I remain the last candidate with big ideas, such as not doing weird crap with dogs.”
“Aww, I could just eat you up! Not in an Obama way, mind you. Awww, but look at your wittle bow…”
“You can totally ride on the bus. What? No, it’s people I hate. I don’t judge warm and fuzzies.”
“PORKULUS!”
“Bet you think you’re pretty quick with that beak, Mrs. Cobblepot. Well, lookie what I found. Oh, no, I’m afraid Oswald here won’t be dancing with you anytime soon. I’m feeding these happy feet to my ocelot.”
“We’re burning diesel, we’re burning dinosaur bones.”
“This will make a helluva code name.”
“You may think Newt Gingrich is just a thinker. But I’m not just a thinker. I’m a doer. Every day I go out there, and rev that engine, fire it up, grab a hold of that line between speed and chaos, and wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And when the fear rises up in my belly, I use it. Fear is powerful, because it’s been there for billions of years. And it is good. And I use it. And I ride it; I ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell.”